Week 14 ~ February 9, 2005
Throughout my pregnancy there is one thing that has remained quite clear to me; I am blessed. Not only am I pregnant and creating a new life to bring into the world but I have a wonderful, loving and generous husband, a giving and supportive family and friends who have been by my side through thick and thin. I am surrounded by loving and supportive people, there is no better way to bring a baby into the world than this.
When I first got pregnant I was worried that I would feel alone. My family lives 250 miles away and although I talk to my mom and sister on the phone a lot I knew it wouldn't be the same as having them here. I thought the distance between us would be something that would keep them from being involved in my pregnancy, especially my sister. My sister, Stephanie, and I were never really close the way some sisters are. When we were growing up we fought a lot and never had much in common. We love each other very much but we've never been best friends. I wanted my pregnancy and motherhood to be something that could bring us together. Stephanie has 2 children, a boy (Alex) who is 8 and a girl (Emilee) who is 17 months old. She is a wonderful mother and I have always looked up to her and admired her.
When I told Stephanie that Sean and I wanted to start a family she was worried about our decision because of my weight and how that would be for the health of the baby. When I did become pregnant I was nervous about telling her and what her reaction would be. She was happy but reserved. I thought she was disappointed in me and upset. As I started to get used to the idea of Stephanie not supporting me I have been continually surprised at the new things she comes up with... a message on my answering machine telling me that the baby is going to be healthy even if I don't eat exactly what I should from the food pyramid every day, a call asking me to have the baby on a Friday so she can be here with me, conversations about getting together so she can go with me to register for baby gifts, questions about whether I am having a boy or a girl and how soon I will know so she can get things for the baby.
All these things show me how much my sister loves me and that she is happy for me. No matter how many miles we live from each other our friendship and love is something that transcends it all. As I sit here writing I am so filled with emotion... maybe it's pregnancy hormones, maybe it's finally realizing what my sister and I mean to each other, I don't know. But I do know that I am truly blessed.