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Stacie's Pregnancy Journal

Week 36 ~ July 14, 2005
~ Showered with Love

I had so much fun visiting my mom, but I always do. The time seems to slip away so quickly when I am there. This time I was able to see some friends from high school that I haven't seen in quite a while. My friend Becky has 4 children and lives about an hour and a half from Traverse City so I rarely get to see her. She was in town to take her kids to the Cherry Festival so we got together for breakfast with another friend, Lorie, Friday morning. I haven't seen Lorie since her father died a year and a half ago. She is usually working when I am in town but she was off work this week because her four year old niece had just passed away in a car accident. Our visit wasn't under the best of circumstances but I am really happy that I got to see her.

We had the baby shower on Saturday and spent pretty much the entire day getting ready for it or getting settled after it. Our first guests arrived at about 12:30 and the whole crew was there by 12:45. We had a small group, 10 people including myself and the hostesses (my mom, sister and niece), and it was very relaxing and casual. It was so nice being able to talk and catch up with everyone. One of the guests who was there is one of my best friends from high school, Jeannine, who was also a bride's maid in our wedding. Jeannine and her husband are expecting a baby about 3 weeks after our daughter is due. Even though Jeannine lives 250 miles away it's been fun to talk on the phone and share our pregnancies together.

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I know a baby shower is really about the people who are there and spending time together, not the gifts. But I have to mention the gifts. Everyone who was there, and the people who were not there, were so generous. We got a baby monitor, pack n' play, bouncy seat/rocker, toys, clothes, blankets, feeding items and several hand knitted keepsakes for the baby. I've been anxious about having the baby and not being prepared for her. I know my anxiety is mostly because of our remodel and the fact that we can't set things up until the rooms are done. I haven't bought much because of the lack of available space, again because of the remodel. And I didn't buy many clothes because my sister is letting me use what she bought for her daughter, who will be 2 in September. Now, we have so many great things. It's making me feel like we may actually have things ready for the baby when she arrives.

The physical being ready is completely the opposite of my emotional being ready though. I've always been a worrier and a bit of a pessimist. As the days and weeks go by we get steadily closer to the birth of our new baby. I want to meet her and know what she is like and I want to hold her and take care of her but at the same time I am scared about it. I worry about if I can handle being a wife, mother, teacher and take care of a household. How will I know what to do for the baby? What if she cries all the time and I can't calm her? How do I learn what she needs when she cries? What if I don't know how to giver her a bath? How will I know if she eats enough? I can take care of her very easily now. All I have to do is eat and my body pretty much does the rest but when she is here I will have to do a lot more to make sure she is happy, healthy and growing.

The other big thing that has been on my mind is the baby's name. For months now it's been “the baby, she or her”. The big question every one had at the baby shower was “what are you going to name her?” I haven't been stingy with sharing and we are not keeping the name to ourselves until she is here. We actually don't have a name picked out yet. We don't even have it narrowed down to a few names. There are some names that are completely off our list and a lot of names we haven't even considered yet. Should we choose something unique or something popular? Should we name her after anyone in the family? I'm beginning to think she will be called “Baby Girl Millichamp” for the rest of her life. It worked for Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, maybe it will work for us too.

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