Entry 15 ~ April 4, 2010
The Fruit Loop Diaries
Since I returned from my peaceful, five day 'vacation' at the hospital after giving birth, life at home has become, well, chaotic. The older children have settled in, in fact, thrived in having a baby brother. In fact, they dote on him. The twins love to hug him and squish him and kiss him and shove his pacifier nearly down his throat.
The past eight weeks have been an adjustment for Ernie and me. We have struggled to adjust to a massive change in our household, to being busier and tending to more children, trying not to let the teenagers feel ignored. After all of these weeks, I can't even say for sure that we have struck a balance; it feels like a day-by-day adventure.
Reese and Reagan have discovered freedom from the bars of their crib, climbing in and out. They have foraged new territories, having mastered climbing over the securely fastened gate at the bottom of the staircase. Reese has learned the art of utilizing her good looks when she removes her diaper and pees on the floor. Reagan has mastered affection and humility with apologetic hugs. They are by far, my greatest challenge.
Just when I think I get a handle on things around the house, something little, like the mail arriving throws me off. I can't even get the mail sorted. Or the counters cleaned. I mean, why bother washing the kitchen floor knowing two simple facts: it rained yesterday, and they are all wearing sneakers. So I have resorted to buying Fruit Loops. Fruit Loops stick to your face. They come in all colors. They adhere to one's tiny little index finger. They are yummy, sugary and make all the kids happy. Gone are the days of whole grains, fresh fruit sorbet, and whole grain breads. I have hit rock bottom.
From the bottom of the bottom, I see the light at the end of my eight week tunnel. Going back to work looms on the horizon. I'll be resting at the edge of a keyboard in a few short days. The internet! Daily news! Stock reports! Lipstick! Panty hose! Ahhhh, the rat race! Back in the game. Only, as of this very minute, I could care less if I brush my teeth, or whether I am wearing my underwear inside out, or if my eyebrows are plucked, or my legs shaved.
I've tried unsuccessfully to extricate myself from my overwhelming love for my children and my desire to be right here in the midst of the Fruit Loops. I want to be the overbearing, controlling and omnipresent mother in their lives that I so quickly and easily became over the past eight weeks. I want to watch them wake up and toddle to me and exclaim, "Mama!!!" I want Brody to sneak up behind me when he wakes up so I can feign surprise and squeal with delight. I want to continue sticking Fruit Loops to my face and think it's the most hilarious and important thing that I have ever done, day in and day out.
Be that as it may, the panty hose and the tweezers beckon, and the children will have to save the Fruit Loops for Saturdays and Sundays.