I can't believe that I'm 17 weeks this week! Time is just flying past so quickly on one side of things and then there are times that I just want to be at 38-40 weeks at the end so that I can meet this little one. I know I'm getting ahead of myself a bit but I have different concerns that will arise throughout pregnancy that tend to make me worry. I guess in my mind, I just want to hold my little one in my arms, looking into his/her eyes to know everything is fine. When I stop and think about my thought process/conclusions they are really kind of silly because I already know that the worrying doesn't stop when the baby gets here. I'll worry about things for the rest of my life. I'm a Mom.
After confronting the family situation we had last week, I'm starting to feel better. Standing up for my family has left me feeling empowered. It's also given me a renewed sense of how blessed I am having Paul as my husband. What a precious gift Morgan and Shane are, how precious this little one I'm carrying is. Funny how difficult situations can bring you even closer to your immediate family. I realize that life decisions may be difficult at times but the sacrifices we make for our children, our family is sometimes necessary to lift our family up and protect us (our children) from situations that aren't healthy.
Saturday and Sunday I was pretty much getting used to drinking as much water as I could. I can usually drink about six glasses without any difficulty but eight to ten is a different story. Throw in at least one glass of Gatorade and my eyeballs are floating. I feel like I'm living in the bathroom. It will take me about a week or two to get back into the swing of things but I put myself in this situation by not drinking as much water as I should. Lessons learned. I've been sleeping throughout the night again and I'm still a bit tired but I can't expect to sleep through one entire night and be back to normal. I'll get there.
Monday was a wonderful day! Paul and I were married thirteen years ago today. I can't believe that I'm thirty-nine years old and married thirteen years! Where did all of the time go?!?! It feels like a blink of an eye and here I am. It's funny because I still feel like I'm in my late 20's and Paul still takes my breath away when he walks into a room. Our priorities are so different from when we were first married. Back then it was all about us, what we wanted to do, etc. We were stuck in that "me, me, me" phase of life. Now it's all about the children, our family. Looking back I can't believe how selfish both of us could be, the crazy things we did. I sometimes wish that we would have started to have kids a bit early but when I stop and look back, we needed to do things for ourselves first so that we could give 200% to our children when we had them. We needed to grow up and together as a couple.
I had a wonderful time with Morgan on Thursday. Her preschool class went to the Choo Choo Barn to look at the train displays and it was really fun. We were able to walk around the displays twice and it was funny how many things you don't see the first time around the display. It was really nice. Paul and I want to take the kids back after the Christmas holiday so that Shane can see the trains. He's car, train, plane and truck mad. The big question is how are we going to get him out of the display room without him giving his own "display" of disapproval. We're also talking about taking the kids to see Thomas this year in Strasburg. It really sounds like a wonderful time.
I'm feeling so much better now. I have energy; I'm sleeping, eating (and it's staying down). The only big thing this week was taking care of Morgan's big Christmas gift. She wanted an American Girl doll and we found a place that has a doll called "Make a Doll" at the Mills Mall in Pittsburgh. The price was fantastic! It was supposed to be our Godsend. I was wrong. After going back and forth with the store for a few months, I just found out that they can't guarantee that we will have the doll by Christmas and/or if ever. So I was off running around looking for a doll that looked like Morgan. We checked out Our Generation dolls from Target and they were sweet but there wasn't one that looked like Morgan. Santa has learned her lesson. Never promise something that you don't have in your hands. We ended up buying her an American Girl doll that looks exactly like her because it was the only thing she asked Santa for this year. Paul had to do two nights of overtime but it's on its way and, like I said, we've learned a valuable lesson that I'm sure we'll run into again in the next few years. I know that she's a bit early for an American Girl (she's five) and they are crazy expensive but it was a promise to a little girl from Santa. She hardly ever asks for something for herself (she'll ask Santa for toys, gifts, etc., for others but not herself). How could I go back on a promise? No worries now. The doll will be here next week and the innocence in Christmas has been saved.
Have a great week ladies! Thanks for taking the time to read my journal.