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Susan Michelle's Pregnancy Journal

Week 9
~ Morning Sickness 24/7 Stinks!

It's Saturday and I'm nine weeks today! I was up again around 2:30 a.m. I desperately need some sleep; this is becoming a really bad habit. I'm not just waking up because I can't sleep now; I'm waking up because I have horrible morning sickness. This one is new for me (didn't have it with the other two kiddos).

It's still raining like crazy but we are going to brave the weather and go shopping. Actually it will just be my parents and me (possibly Morgan). Paul and I really want to keep both kids inside today because it's just pouring but Morgan is begging to go shopping with us (it's in her blood). Paul and I broke down and let Morgan tag along. I dressed her warm, put on her raincoat, etc. She should be fine. Paul and Shane will stay at home. Dad went to a friend's stein store while Mom, Morgan and me went to Motherhood Maternity. I bought some maternity clothes because my stomach is so tight in my jeans right now that it's starting to hurt. Per my midwife's suggestion, I think that I'll be switching my jeans over to maternity. How crazy is that, I'm only nine weeks! I asked her and it's not gas or bloating, I have an actual tummy. I can actually feel my uterus in there and it feels like a basketball! I always pop early but this was even more so that the last two times. Maybe it's different with your third. We'll see.

I'm still floating on air about being pregnant but with my parents here, the excitement is even more pronounced. It's the first time that we've all been together since we found out and it's just a really special time for all of us. I thank God every day for this miracle I'm carrying inside of me. We are truly blessed. After typing that sentence I giggled a bit because my husband would tell you that I'm mushy nowadays and will cry at TV commercials and do you know what, he's right. My emotions are more pronounced with this pregnancy. I find that one-minute I'm all warm and fuzzy and the next I'm snappy, weepy, etc. My emotions are all across the board right now. I've really been trying to keep everything in check especially around the kids. I'm lucky because the kids usually will do something and I'll either be mushy or weepy remembering when they were just born, how the time has just flown by, etc. Poor Paul, for some reason he will see that side of me (mushy/fuzzy) too but he also gets that horrible snappy side to all of this. I think it's because when he comes home from work, he'll ask a million questions about our day, which normally wouldn't bother me, but it just sets me off right now. I'm so tired, I can't process all of the questions he has and he just keeps asking one question after another and sometimes I just snap. It's hard for me to type about this because I'm not that kind of person (I'm pretty easy-going). I wonder if you have more emotions during pregnancy if you are more prone to PPD afterwards. I'm going to write that question down for my next OB/midwife appointment. The reason I wonder that is a friend of mine had emotions like this and she had PPD both pregnancies. I think if Shane were sleeping on a more consistent basis and I wasn't waking up in the middle of the night I'd be better. I woke up Sunday morning around 3:30 a.m. because I was so thirsty and my stomach was twisting. I came downstairs to get a drink and something light to eat. It's hard for me right now because what I usually do is get on the computer for a bit and then I lay down on the couch on my left side all curdled up until the queasy feeling leaves and I go back to bed. Unfortunately, I can't do that right now because my parents are sleeping in the living room and I really don't have anywhere to go. I snuck into the dining room with my water and yogurt and sat quietly. My mom woke up and we talked for a bit. I feel better so I'm heading off to bed. It's now 5:30 a.m. Someone please tell my body that nighttime equals sleep because I think it forgot.

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It's Sunday. Everyone is up and getting ready for church. What a crazy time trying to get four adults and two children ready for church. This is a reminder that it's going to take even longer when this little bean arrives. Add on another 1/2 hour to an hour. Church was great and the kids had a great time with my parents there. We started to drive home and Shane fell asleep in the car. It was early and plus I was concerned because the last time he fell asleep when my parents were leaving, I didn't wake him up to say goodbye. He was upset for days over that…UGH! I guess we'll let him go until right before they leave and see if he wakes up or not. We came home, laid Shane down and I quickly checked the refrigerator for leftovers (that's what we were going to make for lunch) and realized that there wasn't enough food for everyone. I quickly called the pizza place right down the road and ordered their Sunday special. I would have whipped something up but the house was a bit crazy and Paul was getting ready to head to work. This would make it easier and I could spend some quality time with my parents before they set off for home. Plus, it's a given when my parents leave that the kids are going to be upset, crying, etc. It's hard for them to see them leave. They can't understand why we can't live closer together or actually they've even suggested that we all move in together. I wish it were that easy. Paul left right after 2 p.m. and Mom and Dad left at 2:45 p.m. Morgan gave hugs and kisses and then headed off to the couch and curled up with her Care Bear. Shane was crying but wanted to watch them leave so we were at the front door waving and blowing kisses. Like always, Mom and I choked up a bit but kept things in check. As soon as they left, the kids and I pulled out a puzzle but decided we'd curl up and watch a movie on TV together with some chocolate milk.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday was pretty much the same thing during the daytime. Morning sickness was with me 24/7. I still have to force myself to eat and after I do, I have to sit quietly for about 20-30 minutes or I feel worse. I kept waking up in the middle of the night really sick. I know it's probably too much information but I just wish I'd throw up because there would be some relief. I've tried every morning sickness remedy but nothing helps 100%. Ginger ale helps a bit but lemon water works a bit better. I can't eat an orange to save my life. The one thing that seems to be helping is sugar toast. Did you ever have that? Toast with margarine, sugar and cinnamon. Yummy! That's not going to help me with all of my minerals and vitamins from fruits, veggies, etc. No protein there either. At least I feel a bit better after having some. I'll take that.

Thursday was a big day for Shane. After preschool, he got his cast off. He was a bit upset because he loved his cast and he didn't think that he could walk without it. They didn't find any hairline fractures in the x-rays and everything looked great. The doctor said that if he's not walking and/or doing well by Monday we should give him a call and they might put a cast back on him for another two weeks. I'm concerned because it took Shane 4-5 days to learn how to walk with a cast. It might take him at least that long to learn how to walk normally again. Hopefully this won't be an issue and Shane will be walking within 2-3 days.

I feel like I'm writing the same thing lately in my journal. Friday was more of the same, all day sickness, no sleep, etc. Now that Shane's cast is off, I'll have to take the kids out more often. Shane was only good outside for about 20 minutes with his cast. Hopefully, in the next few days, he'll be running around the yard again. I feel horrible because I haven't been cleaning the house as much as I should. I keep telling myself, I'm doing something much more important. I've been trying to put more time into the kids in between having to curl up on the couch because I feel like I'm going to be sick. Hopefully this will only last for the first trimester. Only three more weeks! I can't wait for the second trimester. Not only because morning sickness, the tiredness, etc., subsides but also because the chance of something going wrong decreases. I've been thinking a lot about my miscarriage in January. My estimated due date was Friday, October 21. It's hard to forget about it because I have it written on our calendar and circled. I feel somewhat empty because I would have been holding my baby in my arms by now. I have to stop that. What's important is I'm pregnant now and everything is looking great. I remind myself of what my mom told me (and my grandma before she died). Having a miscarriage is your body's way of telling you that something was wrong with the baby. In my mind that makes sense, my heart isn't so sure about that. I'll be fine once October is over with and we're out of the first trimester. Until then, I'll be a bit nervous.

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