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Susan's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Birth Story
~ Meet Caroline Rebecca born February 17, 2006

Caroline RebeccaWe went to the hospital at 3am on February 15 with contractions 3 minutes apart. They considered me to be in pre-term labor since I was 35 weeks 6 days, and they gave me a shot and 2 bags of IV to stop them. They didn't stop completely, but I only dilated a half cm in 9 hours so they sent me home and my doctor said to come in the next morning. Since I would officially be 36 weeks at that time, if I were dilated more or still contracting regularly, they would talk about admitting me to start the induction.

The next morning, I went in and I wasn't dilated any more but I was still contracting so the doctor asked if I wanted to be induced today and I eagerly said YES. She said they would call me between 5pm and midnight when they had room for me to be admitted. I ate a delicious "last meal" of NY Strip and Baked Potato around 5pm and was stepping out of a bubble bath around 6pm when they called and said I could check in.

When we got there, they started Cervidil right away and it was extremely unpleasant. I contracted all night and was barely able to get any sleep at all. They gave me Ambien and some pain killers but they didn't do much except make me woozy and the pain kept waking me up. My poor sister sat right by my side all night through each and every contraction while hubby was zonked out. (Sorry honey - but it's true) They finally took the Cervidil out at 6am and checked my cervix, which was at a 4 (I went in at 1cm). They got me up to take a shower and then started Pitocin at 7am. They kept offering me the epidural which I turned down each time. Then a nurse came in and said, "We really need to get you the epidural if you want one because your BP is shooting up." I didn't understand what that had to to with getting the epidural, but I said, "Ok, you know better than me when it's best to do it." BOY am I glad I listened to her. Things went so fast after that we almost missed our window - (THANK YOU NURSE SUMMER!!)

Right after the epidural they broke my water - it was now 9:30am. I was still feeling the contractions so they called for more epidural about 45 minutes later. Then they checked me and I was at a 10 - COMPLETE - and the head was "right there". I went from a 4 to a 10 in 4 hours. They said that explains the pain through the epidural. I wasn't feeling contractions, I was feeling my cervix dilate at warp speed.

I was feeling the urge to push and they laid me on my side and tilted the bed way back and told me not to push. They called for the doctor to hurry as fast as she could, and she came running in out of breath a few minutes later, saying she ran down 7 flights of stairs to get there. At 11:15am I started pushing and about 5 contractions later at exactly 11:30am Caroline Rebecca was born weighing 6 pounds 0 ounces (boy were they off on the estimated weight in the last ultrasound) and measuring 19.5".

I can't explain what happiness and joy I felt delivering her. I cried through the whole delivery - and I kept telling Summer (the nurse) it's ok - I'm crying because I'm happy - I'm not scared. She was worried about all the crying. After she came out I said "I keep thinking it's a dream and someone will wake me up and it won't be true that she's here" So Summer pinched my arm and said "see it's not a dream". All I can say is - this delivery was just so perfect and wonderful and joyful - if I could, I would re-live that day over and over.

It still feels like a dream to me. I am so incredibly happy and unbelievably fulfilled and thankful for every single moment with her - even at 2am when I am so tired - I am happy to get up and hold her and feed her. Sometimes I just sit there in amazement that no matter what happens in life, I will always be the proud mommy of two beautiful daughters.

Thank you for sharing my journey.

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