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Susan's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 24 ~ November 28, 2005
~ Holiday ups and downs

I was feeling pretty down this week. I kept remembering last Thanksgiving when we were all saying "this time next year. . ." All I can say is you can dream about the future all you want, but nothing is guaranteed.

I forgot to bring my doppler with me when I went out of town and on the first day I noticed significantly less movement and sort of freaked out. At one point I couldn't remember when I last felt movement and started timing and it took an hour and 20 minutes for me to feel one. I tried to stay calm since we were on the road and there wasn't a whole lot I could do short of turning around and going home, so I tried to just tell myself the car ride was lulling her to sleep. I think I read that somewhere. The next day movement was back to being pretty frequent.

We went to my sister's house as always and had a good time. We had a couple cooking disasters including a dropped pan of sausage balls (which made it a very happy Thanksgiving for my dog) and forgetting to put the stuffing in the oven and not realizing it until Thanksgiving dinner was practically on the table, so then we had to tell everyone it was going to be another hour. Other than that dinner was great and everyone seemed to enjoy it. After dinner, and a long rest on the couch, we went to see the Christmas lights at the zoo. It was so much fun. You can drive through a deer safari and they come up to your car and you can feed them. Then at the end they have a big bonfire and you can go around and feed the other animals. My favorite was the camels. They were hilarious.

My niece turned 16 this week as well and we did lots of shopping and had a great birthday cake. Kids really rake it in these days on birthdays, especially big ones like sweet 16. She got tons of gifts and money and seemed very happy with her birthday loot. I know I sure would have been. I couldn't tell you one thing I got for my 16th birthday. I do remember being grounded though and not being allowed to do anything which was a total gyp. They could have at least let me go out for pizza with some friends, but noooo I had to sit my butt at home. Note to self: give daughter one day reprieve if she winds up grounded on her 16th birthday.

I have continued to feel painfully bloated this week. I know that sounds weird because how else would you feel at 24 weeks pregnant, but this is a feeling that I really don't recall. It's like my stomach is crammed full of air or food or something and I want to burp or throw up really really bad to relieve the pressure. I also continue to feel sick after I eat. Weight gain is up 3 more pounds and I really can't believe the number I see on the scale these days. Although I have only gained 13 pounds total, I started with 15 left over from the first pregnancy which puts me at the same weight I was when I had Cecilia and I still have 12 weeks to go (having this baby at 37 weeks). I have already decided that I am doing Weight Watchers as soon as I can. I also bought an Elliptical machine when I was pregnant last time and I was back on that about a month after having Cecilia, so I'll do that again as well. But in the mean time I feel like the world's most disgustingly large woman.

Now on to just a general vent. So, here in Georgia, they recently passed a law banning smoking in and around public buildings and restaurants except for in designated areas posted with a sign. So with this in mind, why do I continue to have to walk through the wall of smoke to enter my office building? I don't see a sign posted there saying that is a designated smoking area. What's the point is in having the law if there's absolutely no way to enforce it. Short of a police car rolling up and ticketing these smoking bandits who's to stop them, no one, and no one is. I have literally walked around the building to go in another entrance so I don't have to pass through the smoke barrier, which does nothing but add irritation to my work day as I go in and out. End of vent.

And last but not least I have to tell you about the ongoing joys of Atlanta traffic. So, I was on the way home from work last Friday when a guy drifted over into my lane. Of course there was no signal so I had no idea if he was coming all the way over or if he was just borrowing part of my lane temporarily or if he intended to travel the rest of his journey using both lanes, so I honked at him, at which point he went back over into his lane then got behind me then pulled over into the lane on the other side of me lined his vehicle up with mine and rolled down his window and attempted to throw a golf ball at me. He first showed me the golf ball in a menacing "you see this" animated action at which point I stepped on the brakes so he and his golf ball continued traveling ahead of me instead of beside me and he missed. ANYWAY as if that weren't enough for one afternoon, about 5 minutes after I exited off the highway a deer ran out in front of me; thank goodness no one was behind me to rear end me as I slammed on the brakes. Now trying to decide when I will give up driving for the remainder of this pregnancy. I am thinking I might give it a few more weeks, then that's it.

That's it for this week. Have a good one.

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