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Susan's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 27 ~ December 15, 2005
~ WARNING - major whining ahead

I really, really wish that seeing a pregnant woman didn't make people feel like they have an open invitation to say anything that pops into their head. I will never understand this phenomenon of a pregnant woman's figure being community property. Where does this come from? If one more person says "You're carrying so low!!" I promise you they will regret it. You see, the thing is they don't say it in a matter of fact - declarative statement - just an observation - type tone, they say it in an accusatory, disapproving tone. As if I am doing it wrong or something. After hearing this a few times, the last person who said it to me got stung, but she totally deserved it. I was having lunch with a friend, and when I got out of the car she walked up to me and pointed at my belly and laughed. Which is offense enough if you ask me, so I said "I'm glad you find humor in my appearance." And she said "It's just that you are carrying so low!" And I probably said my usual "uh-huh". So she decided that wasn't enough and said "Don't you think you are carrying low?", as if she were really confused about it. So I barked, "What would you like me to do about it?" And she said "Nothing I guess." Then paused a second and mumbled "Well I find it hard to believe you've only gained 13 pounds." Which I assume was a continuation from a conversation we had last week at lunch when she said I looked big, and I said I'd gained 13 pounds to which she responded "REALLY?? Only 13??" I have lunch with her when she asks because she is single and likes to eat out on the weekends and doesn't like going alone, but she can get a table for one from now on. Who needs it??? In my opinion, all people should be allowed to say to a pregnant woman regarding her appearance is "You look great." Anything else is asinine. I have a friend who gained 80 pounds with her daughter and I never ever once made one single remark - she knows how much she gained - she doesn't need me to tell her. I am not her doctor and it isn't my business. She lost it when the baby was born, so apparently that's what her body needed to do to produce a healthy baby so who am I to question that?? No one, that's who.

Ok - one last rant - WHY WHY WHY does the woman in the cube next to me have to have burned coffee and hard boiled eggs for breakfast when she gets here every freaking morning???? I hope I don't puke on my keyboard as she is gulping it down while I type this. How could a person NOT KNOW that they stink up the whole office with that combination?? I guess the same person that smokes in front of the building when there is a no smoking sign - yes she's one in the same. THANK GOD we move tomorrow and her cube is nowhere near mine and parking is in a garage so I won't have to go through the smoke wall to get in.

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The leg pain stayed away again this week thank goodness, but I am getting hints of the bowling ball in the pelvis pain, which is definitely the better of the two. I got it last time for the duration at 30 weeks so I guess it's about time. In other bodily pain news, I think the antibiotics knocked out the strep throat, but the side effects were torture. I was up all night every night last week sick to my stomach. I guess I should thank God for small favors that I didn't get the other possible side effect which is a yeast infection. I am having terrible headaches again this week as well. They might be sinus headaches, I'm not sure, but I am still congested so it's possible. I stopped taking the Claritin-D even though the doctor said it was ok. I just worried about the effect of taking it for too long, so I tried putting on a little Vick's Vapor Rub to allow me to breathe enough to sleep and it seems to be working pretty well. Funny story about Vick's Vapor Rub though. Last time I used it, can't remember when it was, maybe a year ago, I read the jar first and it said, "Do not put on nostrils" but I said ohh what's the harm, what could possibly happen, it feels so good on there, so I did it anyway. Well nothing happened the first day, and I could breathe and it was great, but the next day when I did it, I no sooner put it on my nostrils that my nose gushed blood - I mean it was like someone turned on a faucet. It went all over my shirt and the couch - it was so disgusting. Well, guess now I know why they say not to do that. Maybe they should say - putting on nostrils can cause massive hemorrhaging nose bleeds. Oh well, not their fault; they warned me.

Movement continues to be pretty frequent, but when she does decide to take a break I start to worry. I am wondering how long before I break down and start carrying my doppler with me. She is fond of punching me in my privates, which is not all that pleasant, but the doctor said to expect movement to be felt pretty low due to my placenta being anterior. Boy was she right. I have yelled out "owww" more than once. But movement is movement so I'll take it any day over not feeling anything.

One final note for the week, how about I make it a positive one, just to add a redeeming quality to this entry. I passed my glucose tolerance test. YAY!! So glad!!! Well, that's gonna do it for me. See you next week.

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