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Susan's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 32 ~ January 20, 2006
~ Got Philosophy?

We started our weekly appointments this week. Actually, starting next week it will be twice a week. Everything went well. I gained 2 pounds, blood pressure was good, got to have an ultrasound in place of the NST since the ultrasound machine happened to not be in use at the time. She was Vertex - YAY!!!! And facing my left side and kicking up a storm. I love it that right after an ultrasound I can actually picture what parts are beating me up.

I've been reading up on the different parenting philosophies and I am very excited to have finally found one that I think will be a fit for my family. Although after a only few brief discussion on the message boards I learned a very valuable lesson - it's probably better to keep that choice to myself. I accidentally discovered that much like the topics of politics and religion, discussion of parenting philosophies can bring out some claws - MEOW!!!!! So Chris and I have made our choice about the philosophy we like and after slapping on a couple Band-Aids following a discussion of this choice in a pregnancy and parenting forum, I have also made the choice not to talk about it - well except to say we now have one and that I feel better prepared for this baby than I did a week ago.

SO, we're getting ready to throw our house into utter chaos again by putting down the last of the hardwoods. Only one room left to go, and I will be so glad when it's over. It's going to be a long week though because the room we have left to do is my "space" - where I camp out 99% of the time so I will be an unhappy camper for several days. BUT I know I will be glad when I am wiping up juice off hardwoods instead of trying to scrub it out of carpet.

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Tomorrow is my niece's baby shower, and we will take off for that early in the morning because it's about a 3 hour drive. Looking forward to the ride though because my husband gave me an early birthday present - an automobile DVD system with two 8.25" screens that go on the headrests. So I am trying to decide what movies to get for the drive. We're even leaving the dog at home so I can have the whole back seat to myself. My dog won't be very happy about that but I certainly will!! Chris has been so great lately. He drives me back and forth to work and to all my doctor appointments and does the housework and laundry and makes me bacon and eggs every morning. I really am so thankful he views this whole thing as "we're pregnant" not "she's pregnant". He truly does and I know how lucky I am to have that. I must say though that practice makes perfect because this was not necessarily the case last time and he promised this time would be different and has followed through 100%.

OK - this is going to sound really weird and I haven't said this to anyone before, but I wish I had some Braxton Hicks. I never had any with the last pregnancy and none so far with this one either. I just want to feel like something is happening even though I know it's way too early. I think I would enjoy knowing there are some practice runs going on in there. Everyone who has them says they're no fun, but I secretly want to see for myself. Yeah, that definitely sounds weird out loud. I think I'll continue to keep that wish a secret.

I really don't have a whole lot more to say this week except - 33 more days to go.

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