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Tamira's Pregnancy Journal

Week 21
~ Guilt

Boy oh Boy, this little fella has been kicking up a storm this week. It is still not hard enough to feel on the outside, but every now and again if I have the opportunity to actually sit still for a moment, I can see my belly wiggle, just slightly when he kicks. How great is that? My husband can't believe that we are at that point already. To him this pregnancy is just flying by because he is only home every 2 and a half to 3 weeks.

I guess that the weeks have been passing by me pretty quickly as well because I have been so busy lately. First of all, I have been trying to make the bedroom transition that is inevitable because we have a 3 bedroom house and are having child #4. While the ideal situation would be to move to a larger house, that is not in the budget at this time. This was a big deal in my last journal as well because I wasn't exactly sure as to who to pair up when Violet was born. I eventually decided to put Violet and Rachel together so that the oldest could have her much needed pre-teen privacy. Well, that worked well until Violet actually started to sleep in the room with Rachel, and wouldn't stay asleep as long as Rachel was in the room. So I started having Rachel sleep with Brooke at night, and the problem was solved, everyone was sleeping through the night. Technically Brooke and Rachel still had their own rooms because Violet napped in my room during the day and slept in Rachel's room at night. However, as Violet got older and more mobile, she wanted a place to play other than the living room, and Rachel's room was out of the question because of polly pockets and barbie shoes. So I decided to share my room with Violet's toys, and that has worked okay. But now that the new baby is on the way, we have reached another hard decision. It goes without saying that the 2 older girls will now be sharing a room, and the 2 younger siblings will be sharing a room, eventually.

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So before school starts back, August 11th, I want to have the rooms completed. I just feel so guilty about the whole thing. While everything will be working out great for Violet Rose because she will be getting a room that she has technically never had, Brooke and Rachel will both be losing their own rooms. Brooke will not only have to make room for Rachel and all of her things, she will have to give up her big bed for bunk beds. And Rachel is not only losing her room to an almost 2 year old, she is having to downsize her toys by half. Will the guilt never end? I try to compensate by giving them a new room makeover, the same thing I did for Rachel 2 years ago, and they are somewhat excited about that. The one thing I can definitely say about my 2 oldest daughters is that while I know that they are both sad about the room situation, neither one has complained about it. How great is that??

All of the home school material for the new school year came in this week as well. I can't say that I am excited about that as we just finished school about 2 weeks ago (we got a late start last year). That means that there are only 2 weeks left of summer break, and 2 weeks left for me to get organized for the new school year. The girls really wanted to start school at the same time as their friends this year.

Well, Monday we will be off to the beach with my sister for a few days of fun in the sun. I will let you know how it goes next week!

~ Tamira

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