I don't know what is wrong with me, but I can't seem to make decisions about anything these days! Normally, I've got it "all together" and can assess a situation quickly, decide the best action and move on. Somehow I seem to have lost that ability these days.
Issue # 1 - Baby's Name
Ever since day 1, James has been the leading contender for the baby boy's name. Yet, something has kept me from committing 100% to that name. I really can't describe why. One problem is that in Spanish, James is Santiago, and I really hate to subject the kid to a lifetime of having two totally "different" names. Of course, we can try and get people in Ecuador to just call him James anyway but that will be difficult. Otherwise, James is a great family name, it's "J" so it fits with Jonathan and Jordan and it's a Bible name. So it meets all the criteria. Maybe I think it's too traditional??? I don't know, but my family is growing weary of my inability to decide for no real reason. I have no other name that I like better, but I just can't commit.
Issues #2 - Birth Method
The other big decision I keep wavering on to VBAC or not. I don't want to pick c-section just for the sake of simplicity, but of course it does have some benefits. One biggie is that my parents know WHEN to fly out to California. They are ready to buy tickets, but I can't tell them WHEN they need to be here. If I elect to try for a natural delivery and wait to go into labor on my own, the odds are very high that I will end up with a c-section anyway and who knows WHEN I will go into labor, so there's a good chance my folks might not be here. If I go overdue by more than a week, I risk still being in the hospital while Bobby has to leave the country - which would be BAD.
I don't really have the "guilt" that some moms do from having a c-section previously so that's not a big factor. I would love to not have the recovery time from a surgery. And I guess part of me thinks it would just be a super cool experience to have a natural birth. YET, when the odds are really small that it will be successful, should I put everyone else through that uncertainty and chance my parents missing the event? Or should I just go ahead and schedule it? ugh!!! I wish I could just have a clear instinct and make the decision already.
All of this indecisiveness is really driving me crazy. Other than that, things are great. I feel good - other than getting tired quickly. But I am thankful for the energy that I do have to get things done and still be the homeschooling mom to the other two kiddos.