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Tania's Pregnancy Journal

34 Weeks 4 Days ~ October 5, 2011

34 weeksI apologise for the lateness of this week's update. Remember I told you about sickness in a large family? Well, I got it.

Like it hadn't been enough being hit with one thing after another the last few weeks, I became even more tired and lethargic than normal, or rather what has become "normal" lately, on Friday. I slept through the weekend and Monday of this week, and the vomiting began on Saturday. This increased the Braxton Hicks contractions leading to a very restless Sunday night, wondering whether I should call my friend on night labour standby.

The Braxton Hicks calmed down eventually, or at least enough for me to sleep. My theory is that if I can sleep through any pains then I'm not in labour. The following day I was still ill, still dehydrating, and again experiencing strong tightenings. I rang the triage on the labour ward to be told I would not be seen there as I had a bug. Fair enough, but what if labour did progress?! I had visions of Mike having to deliver the twins in the living room.

Anyway, I'm feeling much better now and the twins are still inside. I have really had enough now. The twentieth seems a lifetime away even though it is now only 15 days away. I truly feel like I am at the final hurdles and I'm finding it difficult to jump them. My energy levels are so depleted as are my defences. I'm hoping I don't get hit with anything else before the babies arrive.

I know I'm supposed to say how I'm glad the babies are still inside, being cooked as they should be.

I know I'm supposed to say I'm cherishing these last few weeks and days.

I know I would feel as guilty as hell if they were to be born now and put into special care.

But I can't help how I feel, and at the moment I feel completely and utterly fed up. Uncomfortable, knackered and good for nothing and so, so ready for it to be all over.

34 Weeks 6 Days ~ October 7, 2011

Well, I'm hitting 35 weeks tomorrow and I'm still here. How am I still here? How are they still in there? It just doesn't seem possible that my body can possibly accommodate any more growth from these babies yet it does.

The Braxton Hicks contractions have been becoming more frequent and more intense over the last few days. I will get five or six an hour, for hours and hours . . . and then they'll stop. I get so frustrated as it's so tiring to keep getting these pains so regularly and frequently for them only to cease for a few hours, and then begin all over again.

I had to spend the best part of last night sleeping sitting up. Through the night I had taken more than eight, possibly ten Rennie antacids in the fight against heartburn but they were not helping at all. There was no respite at all and I really didn't want to end up overdosing on, well, chalk. Between that and general discomfort and tiny bladder syndrome, sleep is becoming an old pal who I only seem to acknowledge with a nod as we pass each other by in this particular road of life. In the words of Vera Lynn, we'll meet again, old friend.

I hope.

I am ready. I am really, really ready to meet these little people. The reassurance that there are only 13 more days to go at most before they arrive by scheduled c-section doesn't cut it with me. I am past the point of "only" and instead I am wondering how on earth I am going to make it until then. There is no "only".

On the other hand, I am so happy to have made it to almost 35 weeks. The babies are getting bigger, healthier and stronger every day and so are less likely to be needing much, if at all, intervention at birth. That is a good thing, a great thing, yet I'm still feeling like a bomb waiting to go off at any minute. The feelings are so conflicting and I feel guilty for wanting them out so much when I know that every day they stay in is better for them. Mummy guilt. You have to love it.

Oh well, I'm thinking that to pass the time we might play a little game. At home we've drawn up a chart where we've all put our guesses for the following:

Your Name:
Twins Birthday:
Twin 1 Gender:
Twin 1 Weight:
Twin 2 Gender:
Twin 2 Weight:

I would love it if you left a comment over on the blog, copy and pasting the above and adding your guesses to it. It's just a bit of fun and will be great to see if any of you get any (or all!) of the guesses right. Please do join in!


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