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Tanisha's Pregnancy Journal

Week 23
~ Just One More Week

Next week I'll finally find out who has been making a new home in my tummy. I feel like I should already know by now. Really I don't have any idea or gut feeling on this one. I knew I was having a boy when I was pregnant the first time way before we found out. I just started my 21st week when I found out Willie was a boy. This time around the doctor is making me wait about 3 weeks longer to find out. I have been feeling so tired and crappy I'm not sure. Most people think it is a girl. I have heard too many moms say they have felt sick throughout most of their pregnancy and then say they are having a boy. I would love a girl but I don't want to give my hopes up. I just know that this pregnancy so far has been completely different than my first one but I don't think it guarantees a little girl. I'm just very anxious to find out what the baby is.

Hopefully the baby won't be shy and let us see who they are. They have been pretty active lately and their movements are getting stronger. I can see the baby moving my shirt when they kick and squirm. Willie also tends to make the baby excited playing with his toys that make noises and just talking to the baby. The baby probably likes his voice since he's just a little person. When we found out we were having a boy we went to the store and brought their first outfit--this was Willie's outfit he wore home from the hospital and they took his first picture in it too. Since Willie was born in the summer he wore a dark blue short sleeve polo shirt onesie. We plan to pick out an outfit for this baby and it would be nice if it can be a girl's outfit.

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I'll be looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby. I like to be able to plan ahead and knowing the sex of the baby will be a big help. I think girls have more of a variety of items than boys. In this case I'm not up for surprises unless we can't tell the baby's sex. At times I find it difficult to find baby items that can be for either sex. With all the sales going on it's hard to pass some stuff up simply because I don't know what I'm having which is a shame (LOL) because I look big enough to where people keep asking what the sex of the baby is. Plus I wanted to do the baby registry based on the sex of the baby. I can't help but to look a little girl stuff; dresses, shoes, socks, etc. It would be a change from the boy items. I have several toys and other items that my mother gave me when I was little that would be wonderful to pass on to this baby if it's a girl.

Our son was blessed to be able to spend time with his grandmother before she died suddenly. She spoiled him just like grandparents do and helped care for him in her own special way. I have been depressed especially in the last few weeks since it is the anniversary of her passing. If this baby is a girl it will be a great joy but sorrow at the same time. Just thinking about how much she wanted a granddaughter along with her grandson just breaks my heart. If this baby is a girl she'll be able to enjoy things that my mother gave me and I think it would help her feel connected to her late grandmother. I know these items would have been things she would have gotten for her.

If this baby is a boy then of course what else can you do? They will be loved regardless, but we'll have an idea of what to expect. Many people who believe in God have told me that if he feels you can't handle it then he won't give it to you. I'll have this in mind at my appointment next week.

~ Tanisha

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