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Tara's Pregnancy Journal

Week 14 - May 26, 2006
~ (Trying to) Keep a Lid on Stress

This week certainly started off well enough (stress-wise) - had a very restful (and rather uneventful) weekend, and even had dear hubby make dinner, which was very nice (not that he minded -- he got to grill out!). My daughter and I got to watch this really neat (although in some respects, sad) documentary on public television about dolphins -- she had lots of questions afterward. I love how kids at this age just soak up all sorts of information and want to learn more -- gotta love that thirst for knowledge! I just hope I can keep encouraging it -- for her and the little "peachy" boy/girl.

Monday wasn't too bad, except for my husband having to work mornings, but he came home, slept for a bit and wasn't too much of a bear -- and we all hung out and watched "The Simpsons."

However, that was not to be the case on Tuesday. Before I even stirred out of bed that morning, an event took place that while I can't get into too much information here (my husband likes to read my entries and may not like me giving out too many details), suffice it to say that the warnings that were given to my stepson about his finances -- notably -- his vehicle -- were not heeded. To say his inaction really ticked me off is a complete understatement. Of course, as the stepmom, there is very little that I can do, except support my husband and try (very, VERY hard) to bite my tongue, which so far, I have succeeded in doing. I've barely spoken to him since this happened. To have someone, especially a parent, help a child out, only to be ----ed upon is atrocious. Bill says he thinks he's learned a very painful lesson -- but sadly, it's one that will haunt his son's credit for years, and likely Bill's as well. Perfect timing, huh?

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I've had a few more crying spells this week and some more moodiness. While I think part of it would have happened anyway (due to the hormones and the like), the stress of this week hasn't helped at all. I sometimes wonder if Bill even *gets* it -- or if he just thinks, "oh well, she was sensitive before she got pregnant, not much has changed there." But, there are times where instead doing something else, I cry -- even times without reason. I had one particularly good reason to cry late this week. I feel so misunderstood and quite sad. I just don't know what to do. I don't remember as much of this sadness, crying and moodiness the first time around

I'm so frustrated. I wish I could get Bill to understand -- even when I tell him what I need and what would help me feel better, does he do it? No! I think he thinks I'm just using my pregnancy as an excuse, and that his feelings don't matter. I'm at my wits end. I'm going to see my doctor today, and hopefully he can shed some light on things -- least of all possibly recommend a book for dearest hubby to read. Either that, or arrange for him to have a lobotomy.

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