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Tara's Pregnancy Journal

Week 29 ~ September 9, 2006
~ Cranks R Us

I don't know what I was thinking, but I had always surmised that if there was any one that would be cranky/moody/irritable in a pregnancy, it would be the woman who's carrying the baby. Boy, was I wrong.

In the last week or so, dear hubby has been unusually cranky -- mostly due to working the morning shift for a colleague who's currently out on maternity leave. He seemed to be doing alright, but toward the end of this week, it was tough for him to get a nap during the day, which he usually can. Having a new roof put on our house put a real bind into that "down" time. When he switched to working "normal" 9-to-5 hours a few years ago, it was like he was the "real" Bill (what I would see on the weekends and off days). While I realize it's only temporary (Lord, I hope so), it does pose its challenges, in more ways than one.

Tonight, being Saturday night, Cassie stayed up a bit later, so therefore she got a shower a bit later. Bill was out for a good chunk of the day watching a college football game, and while he could have slept in a bit later this morning, his "sleep" clock got him up at 4:30 am (which is about an hour and a half later than he has to get up M-F). So, add to that a busy morning (we had our first prenatal class today), plus going over to a friend's house to watch the game, add in a few beers, and there ya go. He craps out on the couch at 9 pm. While I do my best to keep the house quiet, he ended up waking up a few minutes later after going to bed, because something was put away in the bathroom in the medicine cabinet (the bathroom is adjacent to our bedroom). So, he comes out and asks, "do you think Cassie can get in the shower before I go to sleep from now on?," to which I say, "well, she normally is, but it's a weekend night and she stayed up later." I felt like saying "hey, deal with it!," but I thought better of it and bit my tongue. Sorry if this sounds like a real gripe fest, but I will be ***really**** happy when he gets off this horrid morning shift!

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It's not doing anything for our "love" life, either, sad to say. I couldn't tell you the last time we did anything resembling any sort of intimate activity. Then, of course, I get frustrated, I start getting snippy, and then he's less likely to want to do anything with me in that regard. It's a very vicious and sad cycle. It doesn't help that I already feel fat, frumpy, and unattractive, so this added to it has done a number on my self-esteem. I don't know what to do. I try not to dwell on it, but sometimes it makes me very sad and I start crying. I've tried to talk with Bill about it, but I just don't know if this is just a phase we're going through, or if it something more serious. I do have a tendency of being a "worry" wart, but I hope this dry spell can end soon. I know in a number of ways, I haven't helped things, but I don't think I've been an evil horrid wife either. I think I'm just going to pray long and hard on it tonite and maybe broach the subject tomorrow -- very carefully.

I know I should be thankful that I have someone going through this pregnancy with me (compared to the first time), and I don't want to come across as ungrateful, but it also has its challenges. I hope I'm not the only one that is or has felt this way.

Here's hoping next week goes a lot better -- I guess it can only go up from here.

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