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Tshara's Pregnancy Journal

Introduction
~ Meet Tshara

TsharaHi, my name is Tshara, and I am a thirty-two year old mother of four. Their ages are 8, 6, 5, and 1 1/2. I always dreamed of having a big family, but I knew that it was time to stop after having my fourth child. When I was having babies in my twenties, it seemed quite easy to me, and my body seemed to bounce back and recover very quickly, but my last pregnancy at the age of thirty was very difficult on my body, and it took me longer physically and mentally to recover. With a busy career as a Middle School teacher, working on my Master's degree and Principal Certification, and three other little ones at home, I had told myself that this one should complete our family. Of course, that was before I had her. When I laid eyes on her beautiful little body, and held her in my arms, all it took was one sniff before I began to have second thoughts. After almost a decade of making babies, it was going to be both hard and sad for me to let go and close this chapter in my life.

I had never intended on tying my tubes. I was going to leave it to my husband to have that taken care of on his end. To make a long story short, issues with his insurance covering the surgery postponed that, so I began practicing the natural family planning method (due to health issues, I cannot take birth control that contains hormones in it). This method worked for a little over a year. In April 2008, I had a very sudden fainting spell while preparing to go to work. I was nauseous and vomiting as well. I went to the doctor and found out that I was anemic, as well as a little dehydrated. A couple of weeks later, my expected period didn't come, so after about four days, I decided to breakdown and take a pregnancy test. To my shock it was pink! Very pink! I called my husband into the bathroom and showed him. He laughed with happiness, while I cried with fear. All at once I felt shocked, scared and overwhelmed. I was going to be the mother of five!

After eight weeks of horrible sickness, on top of extreme tiredness, I went to get an ultrasound to find out just how far along I was. More shock and fear came when the ultrasound tech said, "by the way, there is two in there!"

Since that day, I have felt a mixture of joy, bewilderment, and blessings. I am just trying to take it day by day as it all begins to soak in. I am not going to be the mother of five; I am going to be the mother of six instead!

~ Tshara

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