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Vivian's Pregnancy Journal

Week 31 ~ March 11, 2005
~ Time Flies . . .

When you're having fun and even when you're not. I guess this week has been filled with me settling into the fact that I'll be a mother soon. That the baby will come out, be birthed, and be part of our family forever. That's a long time! At some point, she'll talk to us, hug us, kiss us . . . and then develop--totally separate from the way we did.

Right now, Mychal and I are working on our parenting bond. We realized that me being the hammer, and him being the nail of the relationships has to shift. I can't dominate, control and try to be supermom (formerly supergirlfriend, superwife and superstudent). I'm working to find what a balance is. Meaning if Mych's chore is kitty litter, I'm going to have to let go of the urge to remind him when it's OBVIOUSLY overflowing. To let him learn how to create his own schedule of cleaning and set his own boundaries. Some maybe thinking . . . okay, what's wrong with telling him to clean the kitty litter? Well, it's just an example. I'm used to 'teaching' Mych. I lived on my own first, had my own finances first and *thought* in my early adult wisdom (7 some years ago up to today) that that was my role. To help him develop into an independent male. Well, no, I've guided and shown him but not allowed him to practice on things like housework, chores, budget etc. long enough to formulate his own method of coping. I always think: This is too important to jeopardize. Either way, I don't want to be like that with my children . . . so again, I'm a work in progress.

I had my bi-weekly meeting with the ob/gyn and I was so stressed about if he was going to get on me about my weight. I came prepared with documents from my gym that stated how I'd gained weight, the body fat ratios, and how many inches I've gained in each area of my body over the last 7 months. (I felt so good seeing that I hadn't gained a ton, but it was disappointing to see that I had gained 5 inches in my thighs but only 1 inch in the boobs! What kind of cruel joke is that! ) Well, when I got there, the doc looked tired and didn't comment much about weight. He told us that he may not be there for my delivery because his wife went into preterm labor (she's 3 weeks ahead of me) and they found out his baby has a heart defect and will be doing open heart surgery. My jaw dropped. It made me want to hold and kiss the little one growing inside even more. He, and his family, are in my thoughts.

Also, I learned that she's head down with her little feet kicking my ribs . . .cool!

Other than that, no new developments. Oh, we settled on Noelle for the first name. This has been a battle against the name gods to find one that works so this is a big achievement. Perhaps we'll find her a middle name before she's born!

Oh, last thing . . . went to Mych's baseball game and I was holding his co-worker's baby. Man, that was tiring. I spent a half hour entertaining him. He was so adorable though. Lawd, I'm going to need some extra energy! He was so not fussy but it took a lot to coo, laugh and hop him on my tired legs. What did we get ourselves into?!?


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