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Vivian's Pregnancy Journal

Week 32 ~ March 19, 2005
~ Who stole my time???

Okay, I can't have just finished my 32nd week. Can't be?!? Who changed the calendar? As time nears I get more and more used to the idea that Noelle will be real and be part of my family. More and more I want to see and touch her. More and more I get used to my invaded body but also look forward to having her out on her own. I wonder "what will she look like" "what will she smell like?"

I have had some awesome encounters this week--mostly mothers and pregnant women. Telling me their stories and most being VERY real with me about breastfeeding, sleeping and birth control. I'm glad mothers are sharing those details. Too often we keep those whispered secret things to ourselves and doom other newbies to walk the gravelly road alone because we're afraid to share that "we didnt' really want a second one either!"

I've been looking more at mommy pressure. I read an article in I think, baby mag, that talked about mommy cliques. I think that's just sucky. But then again, we've put women in a spot of change, unrest and a place where they must prove themselves and their self worth again (much like High School) so it makes sense that you would try to measure yourself out. I just wish I could break the cycle. But then again, I guess I make small changes myself and that makes small waves of difference in the women around me. When people ask me about pregnancy (as well as marriage, profession, etc.) I try to tell them the real stuff. Most people aren't ready for my candor but seem to appreciate it all the same. So thank you to the women who have been real with me all these years.

Mych and I have talked about doing a project (painting wooden letters for Noelle's name) for her room. He suggested it and it made me warm even thinking about it! Let's see if we can get it done. I'm also itching to take out a hand me down stroller I got and play with it... get the feel for it. Lately also, I've been asking those "dumb questions" --the ones everyone assumes you know like "where does the baby sleep? In the crib the first nights or can it sleep in our pack and play that it has a bassinet?" "Do you carry frozen breast milk or room temp?" "bumper or no crib bumper?" I guess I'm trying to get prepared.

I just talked yesterday with a friend who is due ahead of me. I asked her when she's due and she said "two weeks". DANG!!!! She and one of my best guy friends will be parents in two weeks. That's amazing. It made me stunned but also happy and also envious and also glad I still have more time. Wow... this is a roller coaster. I guess Noelle is saying get off this computer and feed me! She's breakdancing right now!

Have a good day everyone!

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