Week 11 ~ October 2, 2006
Well I usually write my entry on Thursday but it took until Monday to actually write it. I called out on Thursday and Friday. I'm burnt out. I love my job but the breakneck pace along with ADSickness, weird bowel issues and extreme tiredness makes a bad concoction. On Saturday though, I felt a bit better and hubby and I took Ky to her favorite play place for Parent's night out. She loves it there and we get a block of time together alone from 6-10pm. So we went on a date, I got dolled up, we went to dinner, then missed the movie we wanted to see but ended up seeing another funny one. It was soooo good. But by the end of the night, I was longing for us to be with Ky again. That girl is spectacular, I love her soooo much. On Sunday I turned to hubby and said "how am I ever going to go back to school with two babies?" It was like an epiphany. I remembered spending hours in our grad lounge during my master's program. How would I be able to do that with two? Or even with one without letting the burden fall on hubby or someone else? Hubby was supportive and discussed how his parents had gone back to school when they were a bit older, discussed working after bed time and made me feel as though it could be done. I KNEW I married him for a reason!
So I went to the grocery store, stocked up on pre-made food and microwave meals. Why? Because it's time for me to stop kidding myself. I work full time, my hubby works full time, we barely have time for us and Ky and I DON'T FEEL LIKE COOKING. It's a struggle to even clean the house; we have someone do a good cleaning every 3 weeks. Let me put this myth to rest. I am not betty crocker, she can eat my shorts. I am not a domestic goddess. I love my family and spending time with them and we often do it outside the house. I'm shedding my shame . . . because mother and father do not equal domestic king and queen. Right now, our priorities are outside of that. So last night I had a nice tv dinner which I couldn't finish and went to bed!
OH, wait, my story about the grocery store! So I met one of the mommies I was "friends" with when Ky was born. I've popped quite a bit, and thanks to the extra 25 lbs, I look way more preggy than I am but I love it soo! Anyway, she comes up and she's like "oh, how far along are you?" and I say "3 months almost" and she goes "no (rubbing my belly)" Wow, I'm 4 months and I'm not showing that much." Well good for you cow. Or rather, I'm the cow but who cares. I told her "I pop early, but congrats to you!" All night I kept thinking of things I could have said to take her down a peg but then I remembered . . . there's a reason why I never liked her anyway!
So I'm back at work. I also talked with hubby about working after baby. My last job, I could take it or leave it so I knew I was taking lots of time off with Ky. This time, I don't need to be home 10 months but I do want to be home a significant portion. So I was talking out options with hubby. I realized that I really (although breakneck) like this job and don't want to lose it (a change for me). So I'll keep you guys posted!