Entry 12 - March 25, 2008
~ Good News!
I hate to start off with an apology; I have been thinking for some time about updating my working mom journal. I guess I was hoping to have some news to share with you, and as I was writing this update on 3/24 (on Monday), I later got some news that put it all in perspective . . .
I finally have a new job !!!!!!!!
As I write this, I'm about halfway through working the morning shift . . . one that meant changes to our normal routine (both mine and my husband's) . . . and of course, no "gee thanks Tara for helping out" or anything like that from my supervisor (a term I use loosely). It will be interesting to see what reaction I get once I give him my resignation letter. At this point, I really don't care. I have to do what's right by my family, and I figure, if I have to work full time, I might as well work somewhere that
- is family friendly (which this agency is)
- I get holidays OFF (yea !!)
- more money
- better benefits
I haven't given up on my ultimate goal of becoming a teacher. In fact, it may take me at least another year or two until I can get my certification. Until then, I am going to work very hard, save up as much money as possible, so when I go to student teach, we won't be in the poor house!
Suffice it to say, this bit of good news couldn't come at a better time. I have been under a LOT of stress . . . between worrying about money, our neighbors' son being a right idiot with his stupid new car (and having to get the police involved -- don't ask), doubting myself and feeling very unhappy . . . I truly feel that my prayers have been answered. Even before I got the news, I began to make some changes that have helped me feel better.
It's been said that things happen for a reason. I think this whole "journey," if you want to call it that, has led me back to God. I have been putting things on my shoulders and carrying the burden(s) and while I was still praying, as I do each night before I go to sleep, my mind and heart were still quite troubled. In the last week or so, I began to read some of the magazines that my church gives out, which include daily and weekly readings and meditations. Also, my pastor has asked me to take part in an activity for his doctoral program, which also involves a similar spiritual journey . . . all of this has brought me back to where I need to be. For me, it's placing God first . . . not on the backburner. I have to remember to thank Him for my blessings, even if there are some things that I can't have. I have to be grateful for what I *do* have . . . two healthy children, a husband who loves me despite my many faults, and a opportunity to better provide for my family. That's not to say that I still don't feel guilty for working full time, but I'm learning to not be so hard on myself. There are days where I would LOVE to stay at home more, even part time, but right now, that's just not feasible. I have to focus on the positive and not on the negative. But most of all, I have to "give up" those worries, stresses and concerns to God . . . and put it in His hands. That's the most important lesson I have learned.
On that note, I guess I better get back to work. I am almost half way through the morning shift, and the countdown to my big announcement continues!
Take care everyone until next time . . .