Tara's Working Mom's Journal Journal

 
Entry 18 - November 25, 2008
~ Remembering to be Thankful

Every day, when I come home from work, I pass by a chiropractor’s office. It has one of those “message” boards outside. This week’s message was, “Even in difficult times, there is always something to be thankful for.” What a statement . . . and one that will stay with me, rest assured.

This past year has been a doozy – that’s putting it mildly. For those of you who have followed the ups and downs of our lives in the last few years, you have probably realized that nothing stays the same for very long. How I wish that would have been the case this year.

There has been more anguish, more worrying, more heartache, and more tears than I care to recall. I have also had to face some terrible, eye-opening facts about my mother. I don’t even like calling her that anymore, since I feel absolutely no connection to her whatsoever, because of what she has tried to do to our family, including my daughter. Disgusting doesn’t even come close. This past year has also seen some very disturbing actions by some who, I once believed, had a child’s best interest at heart and had put various “anger” issues aside for this child’s benefit. It’s quite clear that *that* hasn’t happened either.

You get to a point where you ask God (and yourself), “Lord, what in the world did I do to deserve this? Haven’t I been through enough hurdles in my nearly 40 years on this earth?” Those questions haven’t been fully answered . . . but with every cloud, there is a silver lining (I have to keep reminding myself of that!).

One good thing that’s come out this awfulness is that my daughter and I have a stronger relationship. I have made some positive changes with how I interact with her (not “nagging” as much, for example) but we’re also reconnecting in many ways--talking more, doing more “fun” things together--things that I wished my mom would have done with me. Basically, I’m doing the *opposite* of what she did (that was my dad’s advice). Speaking of my dad, he has been such a wonderful and encouraging force in my life. He was the one who placed more emphasis on spending time together--whether it was taking a ride in the car, going for a walk, taking a trip to get some ice cream--all those were such great opportunities for us to connect and to talk about anything! I feel Cassie and I are much closer in that regard. I will do everything that I can to prevent her from feeling the way I did with my mother when I was growing up.

I also reached out to my stepson, David. I know there were many times where I *thought* I was doing the right thing by him, but I later realized that what I thought was “right” wasn’t. I had an extremely bad teacher. I apologized to him, and I hope it helped repair some of the “bad will” that may have been there.

I’m also thankful for my health, and that of our kids (his, mine and ours). The New Year will bring some challenges for me in that regard, but they are minor, compared to what some of my friends (at work and at church) are facing.

With everything that’s happening with the economy, I am so very, very thankful for my (great!) job, a very pleasant and easy-going supervisor (who is also quite family friendly) . . . and also for my husband’s job and his line of work.

I realize this will be posted after Thanksgiving . . . for me, I hope this entry will remind me to always be thankful, even when you’re faced with some painful and nasty events.

Take care, everyone . . .
~Tara

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