Tara's Working Mom's Journal Journal

Entry 30 - March 14, 2011
~ Trying to Catch My Breath & Make Sense of Everything (within reason)

NalaI honestly had every intention of writing my next journal entry on time . . . but things happened with our family that really did a number on us.

Our cat, Nala, died unexpected in late January. She had been my "buddy" of sorts since 1995, when I got my first apartment. She and I (and Cassie at about 12-13 weeks' gestation) had moved out of state together when my first marriage ended, and for the longest time, it was just the three of us. We estimate she was at least 16 years old when she died. While that is certainly a long time in cat years, we were very sad and upset just the same (and lots of guilt on my part - I guess it's a mother thing).

We ended up adopting another kitty, named Carrie, about two weeks later. Initially, we didn't want to get another cat so soon, but a dear friend of mine and her husband, who had lost their 13 year old bichon frise around Christmas, said that having a new "baby" helped them with their loss. So, Cassie and I went to the local Humane Society shelter and she fell for Carrie - who has been just the sweetest and cutest addition to our family. While she will never, ever take Nala's place, Cassie and I believe that maybe Nala's spirit had a hand in us adopting Carrie.

Cam with Carrie, the new kittyFebruary was relatively uneventful, which was sort of nice for a change, with all the anxiety created by the change in the administration (I work in state government--I may have mentioned that before). And, with my particular agency, things got really weird in a big way, come March. I don't want to be accused of bashing anyone, but to say that those who "left" weren't missed is probably a big understatement. I've had my share of not so great supervisors, but one in particular was pretty close to being on the "top" of the crappy list. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic with our new supervisors, but the last year or so has been filled with a lot of anxiety (and I'm not alone).

Sometimes, I wonder if leaving radio was the best thing to do. Then, I think back on all of the crap I had to go through, let alone the horrible pay and hours. So, if I had to do it all over again, I probably would do the same. Leaving and taking this job allowed me to better provide for my family, which is good, along with better health/dental benefits too. I just hate second guessing myself . . .

But enough about all of that

Carrie on Cassie's lapCassie and Cameron are doing well (especially with a new cat "kid" in the family!). Cassie is doing well in school and with her sports and did a great job babysitting our neighbors' kids last night. She is really proving herself and taking on more responsibility, but I still worry about her. Same with Cam, too, but he still likes me to "baby" him sometimes (well, when he lets me), and I know those days go by pretty fast. He's already playing kids games on the computer (on the Nick Jr. web site) and loves to "read" too . . . sometimes I wish they both wouldn't grow up so fast! But, what can you do - just live for the moment . . . that's what my husband keeps telling me to do (I do listen to him, even though he doesn't think so LOL!).

We're also cautiously optimistic for spring. We have been lucky to have had a (relatively) mild winter and dodged a bullet this past weekend with flooding in many parts of the state. Now, time to figure out what we're going to plant in our garden this year!

Take care, everyone . . .

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