Tara's Working Mom's Journal Journal

 
Entry 32 - July 14, 2011
~ Attempting to Keep Things on the Up & Up . . . But It's Not Easy

Cassie and CarrieHi all - long time, no write . . . t's been a, um . . . rather interesting set of weeks here so far this summer, to put it mildly.

Just like last year, and the year before that, I'm counting off the days until Cassie is back home. We all miss her terribly . . . even Cameron. That, added to some other things I am trying to deal with (in a professional manner), aren't helping my disposition/outlook on things.

It's been a while since I have been this stressed out, tense and frustrated . . . and sad. Luckily (and fortunately), things between my hubby and me are fine and the same with the kids . . . no issues there! But I know things can't stay this way for long.

I am trying very hard to be diplomatic and professional, but in my current "environment," things are being made more difficult for me. It's wrong, it's unfair and I hope the situation is rectified soon.

Yes, I know, I realize I'm sort of talking "in code," but I feel I have to be somewhat overly cautious.

I'm starting to wonder if God's listening . . . I feel some days that I have truly reached the end of my rope and that He may not be hearing my pleas for guidance and protection (protection from those who are trying to make things extremely horrid for me). I have to believe He is, and my dad keeps telling me that He will answer my prayers on *His* timeline, not mine. So, I have to continue to have faith . . . and realize that I'm not alone.

Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees . . . and realize that while your own personal difficulties make things tough, there are others who have it worse . . . or are going through a type of personal hell that you yourself went through many years ago.

Sometimes I look back and think, "Wow, how did I ever get through all of that s***? And, be able to keep my sanity intact?"

Day Out With ThomasI know the answer.

That's who I have to continue to lean on . . . and despite the challenges being thrown in my direction, that I have a great deal to be thankful for . . . and that Someone is watching over all of our backs in our family.

I can't lose hope. You lose hope, then you're really without a life preserver.

Before I close out of this journal entry, I wanted to include a few recent pictures. One is with Cam, Bill and me earlier this summer when we got tickets to a Day With Thomas. Another is with Cassie holding our sweet kitty Carrie, the night before she left to visit her father.

Take care and stay cool everyone . . .
~Tara

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