Tara's Working Mom's Journal Journal

Entry Eight ~ August 10, 2007
~ Plugging Along

Well, so far so good . . . last time I checked in, I had begun to see a psychiatrist for my PPD and had my prescription for Paxil filled. After about a week or two, I started feeling a lot better (no more roller coaster mood swings!) and more "myself," which is a great relief. I've also significantly stepped up my job search, signing up for an online service so I can get my resume "out there." But I would be amiss if I didn't mention a few friends who have graciously offered their help and expertise in helping me find a new job that can utilize my skills and strengths (thanks Beth!). It's been a while since I've actively looked for a new position, and now that I'm looking in the non profit/public relations/spokesperson type sector, it's sort of "new" territory for me in a way. I'm hoping with all the bait I'm sending out, a fish should bite soon. One or two of the jobs I applied for appears to allow for a flexible schedule which could include working from home, which I would *LOVE* to do, so long as the job provides me with the salary and benefits our family needs. I am just trying not to dwell on how much I don't like my present job, how I feel completely under valued and under paid . . . and just focus on moving ahead and taking steps to improve my current (career) situation.

I know I'm not alone . . . my close friend, who also works for the same company I do, is keeping her eyes open for any future possibilities. I believe we were both sort of "duped" by the powers that be, and now that we see what's going on, it has become clear that we both deserve better. I learned that some people at my company, who I *thought* I knew, I really didn't, after I saw how they treated my friend, and how cutthroat they can be, if given half a chance. While my department doesn't make that their MO, I don't like how the overall atmosphere at our company has changed. It's something I noticed even before I went on maternity leave, and I had hoped, with the new building, that it would boost morale. It hasn't. I've found that more and more of my co-workers, who used to enjoy their work, just now see working as a means to an end -- get your money, benefits, etc. There's no heart there anymore. And it's sad. I know in my heart that it's time for me to move on . . . with or without my teaching certification.

I do plan on going back to school part time next spring, so long as my financial aid comes through, and I still have two more Praxis exams to take. It's always something, isn't it?

Since my last entry, my stepson has informed us that he is moving out at the end of the year, and moving with his girlfriend to South Carolina, where her mom and stepdad live. The deal that her parents made with him was that he could live there, so long as he 1) gets a job and 2) goes back to school. While the news made his dad sad, understandably, I really think in the long run, this will help David tremendously. I've been concerned about him and what he wants to do with his life . . . and he tells his dad and me that he's thought about this long and hard before making a decision. I think it's given him a purpose and some motivation, both of what I've been hoping/praying that he would find.

Cassie left last week to spend some time with her father before she heads off to school. I still can't believe she's now **ten** years old. Seems like yesterday, I was in the hospital with her, all six pounds of her. She'll soon be starting 5th grade -- one I hope she will like (5th grade was tough for me, that's for sure). Cameron is getting big -- and eating more "table" food -- like toast, egg yolks, noodles (just like his big sister), and those teething biscuits. I'm still waiting for him to say "mama," though!

Bill and I finally went on our first date since Cam was born this past Sunday, the day before our second wedding anniversary; it was so nice just to go out to eat for an hour or so and just talk and not have to worry about any interruptions. It's amazing how you can take those things for granted . . . not anymore!

Since we had to take Cassie to meet her father last weekend, Bill decided to schedule our official "anniversary celebration" for this weekend. I have *no* idea what he's planned or where . . . but it involves us staying over Saturday night . . . can't wait!

Until next time . . .


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