On April 22nd I woke up and felt a little twinge... I thought to myself "wouldn't that be funny if that was my water breaking" feeling pretty sure that it wasn't! I got up to do my morning pee and when I stopped peeing the fluid kept coming! I wasn't sure if it was my amniotic fluid or I was just "leaking." So I went back to the bedroom (it's 8am, by the way) and kind of did some pacing. My husband asked what was the matter. I told him "nothing," but he knew better. I then told him I thought my water broke. I said I'd hop in the shower and see what happened. I was leaking more after the shower! So I made "THE phone call" and they told me to go right into the hospital to be checked. "Better safe than sorry," she said. This all happened 5 weeks early and I didn't have a packed bag. I had ordered all kinds of stuff on the Internet to pack, but it hadn't come in yet so I grabbed the car seat, knowing I would NEED that! My husband grabbed the dog (we had to drop the dog off at my father-in-law's house since no one lives near us to care for the dog).
We stopped for breakfast on the way. My husband wanted McDonald's, but I won, of course! We ate at Dunkin Donuts. I had a glazed cruller and a orange juice.
About 20 minutes into the ride I kept getting these funny cramps, but I didn't think they were contractions. (They were!) They were coming every 5 minutes! But we took our sweet old time dropping the dog off, and told my father-in-law that we'd be over for dinner. We really didn't think this was it!
Well thankfully I put a towel on my seat because by the time we got to the hospital I had soaked through my pants! Why the heck didn't I put a pad on! Dummy!
They checked me when I got there, and I was 3 cm dilated already. They admitted me and a few hours later I was 5 cm, but then it really didn't start progressing so they gave me a small dosage of Pitocin. Well, the pain really kicked in then!
They had given me some drug, saying it was just to take the edge off. But it made me so groggy! When they had told me what they were giving me I told my husband that I didn't want it, that I didn't want to feel groggy and drugged up. The nurse said that it would just take the edge off, that I'd feel fine. Well I felt like a veggie! I was so drugged up! I still felt everything 100%. When my Mom popped in to say "hi" I told her to get a nurse fast! She did, and I told the nurse that I NEEDED my epidural NOW!
Getting the epi wasn't that bad. It was just tough lying still while he did it. I went through 3 contractions while he did it. I guess he had a hard time finding the correct space. I guess I have a fat back.
Oh yeah, before all of this they gave me a ultrasound to check on the baby's weight. That was dreadful too! Lying on that hard table through the contractions with that nasty nurse pushing down hard on my belly! Never again! She estimated the baby to be 6 lbs. We were happy that the baby was such a good weight.
Well, the nurses in the delivery room were fantastic! They really helped me out!
I had pushed for two hours. I tried every possible pushing position and I just couldn't get her out. We tried squatting, one leg in the air, we used the bar, and I did it while on my back. At the second hour I guess the doctor grabbed my husband and told him that he needed me to really push. That the baby's heart rate was really dropping and we needed this baby out now! Then the doctor told me if I didn't get the baby out with the next push, that I would have a c-section. I was thinking, "oh yeah, finally!" Then my husband said, "you don't want a c-section Sarah, push hard. You have to push really hard." I wanted to tell him to f-off! But I just glared at him and said that he wasn't helping! That I was pushing, and it freaking hurt!
Oh by the way - about 20 minutes after the pushing started they turned off the epi totally. I'll tell you this, next time I won't let them! They told me that I couldn't 'feel' enough to push the baby out with the epi.
I did that one last push, and no baby. So what the doctor did was ask me if it was OK to use the vacuum. I said "yes." I knew that I needed help. I wasn't getting this baby girl out alone! It took her two tries to get her out with the vacuum. I thought I could lay back and that the doctor could just pull her out, but nooooo I had to push. push smush... push yourself!
Well I pushed, and she pulled, all while my husband was right down there watching the whole thing. He had always told me that he wouldn't watch. that the idea of it freaked him out. But he after that he wouldn't be anywhere else.
It was amazing, he said... her eyes were wide open the entire time. She didn't cry right away. There were about four nurses and five doctors in there. They grabbed her right away and went to work on her. I remember watching them work on her.wondering why she didn't cry right away. But what felt like minutes I'm sure was just seconds and we heard that beautiful smile! I remember a nurse saying "Oh she's so cute, she has pop out eyes!" I thought: pop out eyes???? What the heck does she look like? LOL! Of course- beautiful!
We got to hold her for awhile. My mother and aunt came in to share in our joy but then they had to take our baby to the nursery. My husband was so excited that he didn't realize that he forgot to turn the video camera on! Oh well. :)
My husband was lucky enough to watch the nurses give her her very first bath! And boy oh boy did she hate it! He had thought that she had curly hair after having her bath. but she just had the frizzies! She has the softest and straightest hair. My husband didn't get to cut the cord. The cord was very short and the doctor had to carefully cut it. I don't think he could have stomached it anyway.
Right after I delivered the only thing I wanted (besides my baby and hubby!) was FOOD! I hadn't eaten since the donut and orange juice I had at 10:00 am! So they brought me a turkey sandwich, chips, cranberry juice and some fig newtons. Yum! It seemed like the best meal I ever had!
The first night I was woken at 1:00 am. They told me that they needed me to feed the baby, but I had to come to the nursery. Meghan was having a hard time breathing. I guess she turned "dusky" which is just saying that she was bluish in the lips and face. They had her hooked up to a monitor. a few monitors. This resumed for 24 hours, but they told me after the 24 hours that she had no more episodes and seemed just fine. It was very difficult to go to the special care nursery to see her like that. She was so tiny (tiny to me!) and to see her with wires all around was hard. I just wanted her healthy and safe. I would go to the nursery every 3 hours to feed her. I did try breastfeeding but she just wouldn't latch on. They told me since she was so small that I needed to give her formula so that she could get some nourishment.
She was sooooo beautiful and so tiny! Lots of dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. Born at 8:16pm at 5 lbs 12 oz. 18.5 inches long.
We stayed in the hospital for three nights and when we left we were told that Meghan Elizabeth had jaundice and a heart murmur... both were to be monitored.
It was so hard... it really was. But I would go through it all again. Heck, I miss being pregnant!
Oh one more thing: When Meghan was about one month old, my husband told my mother that when they pulled Meghan out using the vacuum that they pulled a piece of her scalp with it... a tiny piece, but it bled a bit. He never told me because he knew that I would freak! I had told him while in Lamaze that I never wanted to use the vacuum... that I read scary stories about the effects from them!