I was in complete shock when I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I had celebrated our first anniversary, I was beginning a new career as a nurse, and my children (from a previous marriage) were 11 and 6. The kids were very low maintenance. I was congratulating myself on coming so far. I had left an abusive marriage, gone to college and met and married the most wonderful man. My life was on cruise control!
Then I missed my period. That was OK; I was on the pill and VERY faithful about taking it. Missed periods had happened before. This time something was different. I took a pregnancy test (just for fun). When that pink line showed up I freaked out! I had never missed a pill. I took them at the same time every night. It just was not possible.
I was in denial for a while, and then I had the most amazing feeling come over me. Just this feeling of peace and love. I accepted the pregnancy; I felt like a million bucks through this pregnancy. I ran up to my sixth month and then walked every day up to delivery. We had some very stressful things going on in our lives during this time, but I always felt a great sense of peace when I thought of this baby.
I had to be induced with both previous pregnancies. My last was a c-section. I wanted to "go into labor" on my own desperately. My due date was August 13th, and I was feeling very ready to pop on the doctor appointment on the 10th. He said if I didn't make some progress he would induce me on the 16th. I prayed that my water would break. Sure enough I woke at 4 am on August 13th with a "funny feeling." I woke up my husband. I felt some mild contractions, just a little more than Braxton Hicks. When I got up to go to the bathroom I felt some slight leaking! I thought when your water broke it gushed! I just leaked. I was over overjoyed! I was in labor! We went to the hospital, I was disappointed when the nurse said I was only at a 3! We walked and walked and walked. I got to about 5 cm dilated and just wasn't going anywhere. The doctor came in and said the dreaded word. PITOCIN! As soon as they hung that bag I saw all hope for a drug free delivery fly out the window. An epidural is a very nice thing!
My husband is an ER nurse. He started my IV's. He was so great all through this exciting time, very supportive. We had talked about him delivering the baby, jokingly. But the doctor thought this would be okay! In fact when the baby started to crown he left to help with a c-section down the hall. So my husband pulled on the gloves and went to work! He delivered her head, I was watching him be both professional and emotional all at the same time. The doctor arrived for the shoulders - she got a little stuck. Then all of a sudden here she was. I saw my beautiful daughter for the first time in my husband's big strong hands! Her daddy was the first one to ever hold her! It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. God was with us.
She is now 4 months old. I cannot imagine life without her. Our family is so blessed by her. I am overwhelmed by the demands of mothering 3 children at times. But, when I look at how perfect she is, and think about how much joy she has brought to all of us I realize that this was meant to be. God had a plan. I am grateful every day for the new direction my life is going.