|Shelbie and Zachary Dale
A Successful Pregnancy After Loss ~ Placenta Previa ~ Induced With Pitocin, Epidural, Vaginal Delivery
Wow, 39 weeks is a long time to wait to have a baby when you spend day and night hoping and praying that it will be healthy and you'll be able to bring him/her home! After months of paranoia, reliving the possibilities of a baby with a genetic defect, a complete placenta previa which thankfully MOVED, bleeding and severe back pain, finally the day came when I could take my new little baby home! He was actually coming home!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!
The morning of August 1, 1996, one day before I would be 39 weeks, I had to go in to see my doctor and then to the hospital where he would induce me. I think he induced me more because of my fear that my child would not be born alive, than because we thought he was growing rather large! Either that, or I bugged him with my paranoid questions for too many months! Well, at 10:55 am, they started the pitocin and the contractions soon followed. Around 4pm, I was only 4cm dilated and things were moving slowly. I then got my epidural which relieved the pain, thus leaving room for my brain to go back to worrying! I kept getting mad at myself for not having the amnio this time. What if?? What if?? The hours seemed to pass like days as I panicked! By 9:30pm, I had moved to 6cm, and all of the sudden around 10:30pm, I was at 10cm and ready to push. The doctor flew in, and three pushes later, I could feel my little one coming into the world.
Everyone was so excited and screaming ~ I was panic-stricken. NO CRIES!!!!! I remember my horrifying screams, "IS HE ALRIGHT? MAKE HIM CRY!!!!!!!!" My wonderful best friend who suffered a tragic loss a month to the day after my Kaleigh died was in the room with me for support. Immediately after my "breakdown," she began telling me everything that was happening, "Okay Shelbie, he's kicking his feet, they are suctioning out his mouth and he's squirming." Just the fact that he was moving made me feel better. At last, the moment I had been waiting for, a wonderful cry!!! I cannot begin to explain the relief and joy that I felt. I had prayed all along that his big sister in heaven would look out for him in the womb, and my prayers had been answered! I immediately asked for him, and the nurse began to rattle on at me about what they must do to him before I could have him. Sensing my need to hold my little one, my wonderful doctor who had been so kind during Kaleigh's birth and death, told the nurse quite sternly, "Give the baby to her NOW please." I held him only seconds after he came into this world and as I cried, I was silently thanking God and my angel in heaven for the blessed gift I had been given.
The ironic thing is that little Zachary Dale, 7 lbs 1 oz, 21 inches long, has many of his sister in heaven's features. I look at him sometimes, knowing full well that they are two separate individuals, and see her beautiful blonde hair, her tiny little ears, and their identical chins, and it is bittersweet. This little boy better watch out, because I plan to shower him with all the love a Mother could ever give. And one day, I will tell him of his sister in heaven, who I believe watched over him so carefully, and together, we will throw kisses to heaven!